


love advice

by dai_suga



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Crushes, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, M/M, Texting, anyway, enjoy lol, i wrote this to procrastinate oops, princess fiona is actually broccoli??, they're so g a y, watch me with the rarepairs ooft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2019-01-19 16:57:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12414234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dai_suga/pseuds/dai_suga
Summary: kenji: im hopelessly in love with shrek and you cant stop metaichi: kenji what the fucktaichi: you're a fucijng boyfriend stealerkenji: YOU CAN HAVE FIONAtaichi: IM FUCJKING GAY





	love advice

_keiji_ has added _yuuji, kenji, chikara, taichi and kenjirou_ to **_'help'_**

 

kenji: what

 

keiji: so

 

yuuji: im here to help

 

yuuji: whats up ;))

 

keiji: im fucking gay

 

chikara: we've already established this yes

 

keiji: no i mean im fuckibg gay

 

keiji: for someone

 

yuuji: WHO BITCFDF OHMTGOD

 

taichi: ?????/wheres tsumu

 

keiji: i can ex,,,plain

 

yuuji: Akaashi Keiji

 

yuuji: just fucking kiss him alrreaasdy

 

keiji: well you see 

 

keiji: i cang just fuvcjing do that u fucking SAUSAGE

 

yuuji: cal m the fuck up

 

keiji: no

 

yuuji: k

 

kenjirou: he's online

 

keiji: dont do what you're thinking

 

kenjirou:

 

keiji: kenjirou no

 

 _kenjirou_ had added _tsumu_ to _' **help'**_

 

keiji: I HATE YOU

 

tsumu: ?????? :(

 

taichi: hey keiji wants to tell you smth or some shit

 

tsumu: keiji!!!!!!!!!

 

keiji: yeah?

 

tsumu: fun fact: im confused

 

keiji: uuuuuhhh

 

chikara: can i get a boneless pizz a

 

kenji: FUCK KINDA PIZZA

 

chikara: AYYYY

 

kenji: AYYYYY

 

taichi: oi you guys

 

keiji: tsumu

 

tsumu: keiji

 

tsumu: ?

 

keiji: i like you, like

 

keiji: alot 

 

tsumu: i like you too?????

 

keiji: what

 

tsumu: i love you a wholeeeeee lot, like my body cant fit all this love in it

 

keiji: oh fuck im so in lovve with you

 

tsumu: fuck im so glad holy fuck

 

keiji: im gonna call you if thats ok

 

tsumu: sure babe

 

keiji: you're gonna kill me

 

tsumu: babe

 

keiji: oi

 

tsumu: <33

 

chikara: that was true love

 

kenji: need me a man like that

 

chikara: didnt you have kamasaki san?

 

kenji: nah that didnt really work,,,

 

chikara: oh, sorry

 

kenji: nah its fine, its all worked out now wooooooOOOOO

 

kenji: besides

 

kenji: im hopelessly in love with shrek and you cant stop me

 

taichi: kenji what the fuck

 

taichi: you're a fucijng boyfriend stealer

 

kenji: YOU CAN HAVE FIONA

 

taichi: IM FUCJKING GAY 

 

taichi: KENJIROU YOU HAVE HER

 

kenjirou: FUCK OFF SHE LOOKS LIKE BROCCOLI

 

taichi: now that isnt very NICE

 

taichi: why would you insult broccoli like that smh

 

taichi: fine i guess yuuji can have her

 

yuuji: im pansexual not ogresexual ew

 

chikara: i leave you guys for,,,, 30 SECON DS

 

taichi: ssss s s  ssssss   

 

yuuji: ss s s  ssSSSSS S S  S

 

kenji: S SSSSSS  S OME BODY ONCE TOLD ME

 

kenjirou: fuckin nerds

 

taichi: uh ok whatever you fuckibf EGG

 

kenjirou: i hate this fucking family

 

yuuji: do you hate me kenjirou ;))

 

kenjirou: especially you

 

yuuji: :((((

 

taichi: look at that kenjirou, you made the baby cry, you fuckin just did that ohmtgpod why woukd you do that

 

kenji: im ashamed of you kenjirou tsk tsk

 

kenjirou: fuck u guys 

 

yuuji: i would rather you just do that to me kenjirou ;))))

 

kenjirou: no

 

yuuji: fine fuck yOU

 

yuuji: ill find another babe

 

yuuji: TAICHI

 

taichi: my gay ass belongs to someone else Bye

 

yuuji: ???????WHO

 

taichi: nooone so fuck off lol

 

yuuji: FUCK YOU

 

chikara: im going to throw you guys into the ground

 

kenji: smash me into the ground daddy

 

chikara: SHUT THE FUCK U P

 

kenji: YOU SMASH ME INTO THE GROUND AND U EXPECT ME TO KEEP MY NOISES DOWN ;))) NO CAN DO

 

yuuji: kenji is so smooth wow

 

kenji: shut the fuck up you look like a banana

 

yuuji: a good banana

 

chikara: atleast he's edible

 

taichi: O H SHIT SA AHHA

 

kenji: WHY MUST YOU HURT ME'

 

yuuji: GET FUCKED KENJI

 

chikara: wow i take it back 

 

chikara: taichi is my bf now come here babe

 

taichi: omg chikara so forward ;)))

 

kenji: :((( what about your ex wife

 

chikara: who now

 

kenji: me, im the ex wife

 

chikara: i divorced you for a reason then :)

 

yuuji: damn  bitch

 

kenji: fr tho i just want a bf

 

kenji: so bad,,,,

 

kenij: i just want cuddles whenever and kisses and OHMYGOD I FUCKINF G AY

 

chikara: damn bitch same

 

taichi: dont we all tho

 

yuuji: true

 

yuuji: lets just have a foursome lol

 

taichi: UNLIKE YOU I ACTUALLY HAVE MY EYES SET ON SOMEONE UH 

 

chikara: same with me lmao

 

kenji: sorry buddy

 

yuuji: lmao fuck u guys

 

yuuji: wheres kenjirou???

 

kenjirou: what

 

yuuji: seeing as kejii n tsumu did this (props to them woooooo)

 

yuuji: i actually like you

 

yuuji: surprise lol

 

kenjirou: wai twhat the fuck why would you like me hoky guvk

 

kenjirou: wait is thies fr im gonna freak out

 

yuuji: yeah babe i fucking love you

 

kenjirou: holy fuck ok i didnt expect this because im always an asshole wtf

 

kenjirou: but i love you too??????/

 

kenjirou: IM SO CONFUSED IM LITERlaLLYHHYH A PIECE OF TRA SH\

 

yuuji: YOU'RE MY PIECE OF TRASH NOW BABE

 

kenjirou: AAAAAJBDKAJBD

 

taichi: im in our apartment rn he's blushing

 

kenjirou: NO IM N OT

 

taichi: _sent image_

 

kenjirou: TAICHI FUCK OFF

 

yuuji: IM GONNA COMBUST YOUN LOOK SO CUTE WHAT HE FUC K

 

yuuji: WHAT A BABEEEEE

 

yuuji: MY HEART

 

taichi: YUUJI KEEP GOING HE GONNA E XPLODE

 

chikara: keep sending photos its good blackmail material

 

taichi: _sent image_

 

kenjirou: IM FEELING SI ATTACLE D

 

kenjirou: I HATE THIS FAMILY

 

kenji: too bad bitch u stuck with us

 

yuuji: im ugly crying look how cute my kenjirou looks

 

chikara: 'my'

 

tsumu: hello!!! keiji is taking a nap whats happening

 

tsumu: OHMYGOD 

 

tsumu: terushira is real,,,,,,is god real????

 

tsumu: tears are flowing down my face as we speak

 

kenji: might as well just keep going lmao someone go next

 

kenji: confess ur love

 

kenji: to me ;)))

 

chikara: ok lol

 

kenji: wait what

 

chikara: thats right bitch i fucking like you

 

taichi: rekt

 

kenji: wait what the fucj

 

kenji: you actually like me????

 

chikara: EVER SINCE WE MET IVE BEEN FLIRTING WITH YOU LMAO WHAT THE FUCK

 

kenji: OH WHAT THE FUCK 

 

kenji: HA H AWHHOOPS

 

taichi: real smooth

 

tsumu: IM CRYING

 

tsumu: damn yall getting fuckingf  A SS

 

taichi: AM I THE ONLY ONE WHAT THE FFUCUKK

 

yuuji: aaaaaa a a a a ahhhaaa

 

taichi: stfu

 

yuuji: :(

 

kenjirou: we can be your /matchmakers/

 

tsumu: who do you fancy ;)))

 

taichi: first of all why would i tell you lmao

 

tsumu: that was real pain

 

tsumu: BUT

 

tsumu: we can help you ooooo ;)))

 

chikara: because we're your fucking friends now let us help you bitc h

 

taichi: JEE OK

 

taichi: ok well its more like i've never talked to him but every photo i see i wanna fucjing die because he's super hot

 

chikara: damn

 

kenji: oh

 

tsumu: WHO IS U T

 

tsumu: IS IT OSAMU HHAHAH

 

taichi: yeah h

 

tsumu: wait what i was just joking

 

taichi: he's fucking hot set me up

 

tsumu: damn ok

 

 _tsumu_ has added _osamu_ to _**'help'**_

 

osamu: what 

 

tsumu: hey osamu you wanna go on a date

 

osamu: with who

 

tsumu: with taichi

 

osamu: well

 

osamu: i wanna know their personality and what they look like uh

 

osamu: no blind dates thank you

 

osamu: i have flashbacks from last time

 

tsumu: ok first of all fuck you

 

tsumu: second of all,

 

tsumu: _sent image_

 

taichi: WHY THAT PHOTO

 

tsumu: YOU LOOK CUTE IN IT THOUGH

 

kenji: is that when we traveled to sendai together???

 

kenji: i cant believe you still have that oh 

 

tsumu: i printed it and put it on my wall lol

 

chikara: thats actually a really good idea

 

yuuji: i do the same!

 

kenjirou: same, but i have like 5 photos,,,,yuuji has over 100

 

tsumu: _sent image_

 

tsumu: this is taichi and i at the beach !!!

 

tsumu: _sent_ _image_

 

tsumu: this is taichi taking the best selfie because he's such a cutie

 

taichi: TSU M U

 

tsumu: _sent_ _image_

 

tsumu: this is tsumu rocking the sunglasses i bought for his birthday ;)))

 

tsumu: so,,,samu,,,what you think

 

tsumu: samu????

 

tsumu: osamu u big egg REPLY

 

taichi: its ok tho lmao

 

osamu: im sorry if this makes you uncomfortable but you're super pretty

 

taichi: AH WHAT THANK YOU??? 

 

osamu: where do you live??

 

taichi: im from miyagi but im studying at tokyo at the moment

 

osamu: nice, what're you majoring in?

 

taichi: dance :^) you?

 

osamu: nice, i do physiology :)

 

tsumu: _sent_ _video_

 

taichi: ATSUMU WHA T NOOOO

 

taichi: WHYYY

 

taichi: THAT CHOREOGRAPHY WAS SO MEDIOCRE

 

tsumu: I JUST NEEDED TO SHOW SAMU THAT YOU'RE AMAZING

 

taichi: EWW I LOOK GROSS

 

osamu: you look beautiful

 

taichi: ASHFLJSKNLSG

 

taichi: THANK YOU BUT I REALLY DONT THINK SO AAA

 

osamu: i really think so though

 

kenji: smooth

 

yuuji: taichi is fucking w asted 

 

osamu: would you be interested on going out? i wanna learn more about you

 

taichi: yeah! of course, i'll look forward to it

 

osamu: cool, ill dm you :)

 

osamu: hey tsum, can i leave this group?

 

atsumu: ,,sure

 

 _osamu_ has left ' ** _help_** '

 

taichi: HOLY FUVKKKKKCCC

 

tsumu: YOU'RE WELCMOEEE

 

yuuji: damn he was super smooth godannb

 

chikara: how is taichi

 

taichi: AAAAAAA A ANAN A A A A  A AA

 

  
kenji: fuckigf d e ad

 

keiji: good luck taichi

 

tsumu: my babe!!! is back!!!

 

keiji: hello tsumu <3

 

tsumu: <333

 

yuuji: we're so gay holy fuck

 

kenji: you got that right

 

kenjirou: atleast we're all gay together

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
